Why I Love My Family

One of my memories from my early childhood is of my dad and I, as he was rocking me to sleep. I must have been about four or five, but I remember it clearly. I remember laying across Dad's lap and listening to him sing "Families Can be Together Forever" and I remember thinking about how I could feel the wooden arm of the rocking chair in my back, and it was a bit painful, but I didn't want to move because I was happy. My family has given me so many reasons to be happy and to love them. In light of recent events, I just thought I'd elaborate here.

(I'm not using names. I did that for a reason.)

I'll start with my mother. Whenever I think of my mother, I feel happy, no matter what the situation is. Memories of my mother from my childhood are never unpleasant. I remember sitting on her lap and snuggling with her, and to this day I can still remember how her perfume smells. I remember one night when I had a cold or so, and woke myself up coughing in the middle of the night. I think I was nine or ten. As I rolled over to go back to sleep, I heard the door creak, and Mom came in. Apparently I had woken her up with my coughing, and she was unable to sleep until I could. She brought me a cough drop and hugged me and we both went back to bed. I remember waking up the next morning thinking about how much my mom really must love me. This point was brought home again a few years when I hit a deer with the car as it bolted across the highway on my way home. I was so distraught and upset that when my mother showed up, she told me that she wished she could have traded me spots so that she could have been the one to hit the deer just so that I didn't have to be in that situation. The thing is, the whole reason I was worried and distraught about the situation is because I thought my parents would be upset with me for damaging the car. Countless other memories of my mother show her kindness and willingness to serve others, and she never hesitates. When there is something to be done, she just marches on over and does it. I always enjoy talking to Mom on the phone and in person, and sometimes I call her even when I have nothing to say just because I miss her. I consider her to be my best friend. I've often thought as I ask her for advice that there is nothing she doesn't know. I will always think the highest of my mother and I am forever grateful for the sacrifice and love she shows to everybody.

Next is my dad. My dad is also one of my best friends. I love talking to Dad about the common interests we share, and I love how he supports me in anything and everything I do, so long as it's the right thing to do. I also have fond memories of my dad. One thing I will always remember about my dad is hiking with him, with scouts and family, and when he takes me hunting. I don't think I ever told him, but as we hike, sometimes when the terrain gets rough I will walk directly behind him and watch where he walks, so that I can place my feet exactly where he puts his because I know Dad will always pick the best route. My dad is very kind and compassionate, and became even more so when he became bishop. It brings me great comfort to know that the Lord is watching out for Dad as he serves his calling. My dad always brought such a righteous and loving spirit into the home and always made it feel quite safe, even when there were thunderstorms and the lights went out or when he would hide and jump out and scare my sisters and I when we should have been in bed but we were goofing around. My dad brought such a spirit of protection in the house that when I moved out and moved into my apartment, I noticed the dramatic difference in the Spirit and in the general atmosphere. My roommates and I can be happy and feel the Spirit, but there will always be something missing until I can feel the Priesthood in my home again. I miss my dad and I love texting him and talking to him.

My older sister is also a marvelous person. Sometimes she worries about things, but I'll never forget the wonderful example she set when we were growing up. All the lessons I remember learning from her came from occasions where I was in the wrong and being quite a brat. I remember one instance when I got so mad, I hit her and waited for me to hit her back. She didn't cry, yell, or hit me back at all. Instead, she lifted her head up and looked down her nose at me for resorting to violence, and quietly said, "I'm telling Mom." I will always remember that because I learned that day that there are better ways to handle disagreements. My sister has always gone out of her way to avoid conflict and contention. She still does. I look up to her still for her patience and understanding. Whenever I have a problem, I know that I can talk to her about it and she will never say, "Not now, I'm busy," or, "Stop whining about it," or even give the generic, "Mm-hmm. That sucks." When I have a problem, she really listens and then gives me the best answer about why or what I should do. Sometimes when I was getting ready to do something big, like start high school, or move out, I would have my moments when I was afraid but then I would remember that she did it, and with practically no fuss at all. She always appears to be calm and in control of herself, or when she's not it's never letting her stress or anger run away with her, it's always just her letting her happiness take off with her. She has always been able to discuss her problems calmly and without despair, and she is an incredibly joyful person. Her husband is a compliment to her and I'm so happy to see her with someone who brings her so much happiness and brings out the best in her. He's an incredibly goofy person that's turned my sister into the goofiest I've ever seen her, and quite the happiest.

My foster brother is a wonderful addition to our family. I have learned so much from him and I wouldn't trade him for anyone else. He is so talented and he finds ways to be happy where I think I would have crumbled. His love for his family, both biological and adopted, is inspiring. He has such concern for those that he cares about that should anyone try to harm them, I feel sorry for them. His sense of humor is one of the funniest I've ever seen and the thing I like most about him is his laugh. He has the best laugh. It makes me smile as I remember. I hope he will stay in my life in the future and continue to be my brother and that he'll be an uncle to my kids. He's already informed me that he's going to spoil them rotten, and I can't wait. Should he ever decide to get married and have a family, I just know he will love them to pieces and yet always keep his quiet exterior. There doesn't seem to be much that could ever rattle him, and he is one of the strongest people I know. Plus, he usually has really good dating advice and he understands people sometimes better than they understand themselves. I have very much enjoyed getting to know him and I look forward to remaining friends with him in the future. 

My little sister is a darling person. I've always tried to be a good example not because I felt like it was my duty or because I was told to, but because she is such a good person that I felt like I could do no less. It's never been other people trying to hold me to a high standard, it's just always been her. I feel like if I were to ever make a serious bad decision, she would be the one to be the most disappointed with me. She has such an unparalleled joy for life that it's contagious to be around her when she's in a good mood. She is also one of the most loyal people I know. If she likes someone, she will defend them at all costs. She has such an accepting personality of other people and she is so acceptable herself that she will never lack for friends and admirers, even if she never sees them herself. She has quite an energetic spirit that makes me feel better about everything and makes me miss her when she's gone. She has always struck me as the kind of person that when bad things happen, although she may not like it, she will bend but never break. She always holds fast to the things that she feels with conviction and she doesn't let herself be swayed by other people's opinions. She has also shown me that actions speak louder than words and has always been the courageous kid in the family. She would often be the kid to do things that my older sister and I wouldn't do, although sometimes I think it was more out of spite than anything. I will always remember her jumping straight into the frigid cold mountain water and enjoying herself, however cold she was, as my older sister and I barely waded in and declared we were cold.

I feel sad that I haven't spent a lot of time with my younger brother, and yet I feel like I know him so well as I see a lot in common with him. He sometimes prefers to play by himself than with friends, and I often feel that it's because he knows that's the most peaceful way to play. He's not opposed to spending time with other people however, and he is such a quiet and listening kid that I feel like he will be a great person as he grows up. I feel like he will always be a friend to the friendless and that he will always understand other people's problems. He is the type of kid to see the truth in things, and I feel like he will be a fantastic missionary and will manifest his calling to the best of his ability. Even at his young age, I can see the light of Christ in his eyes and he is also possessed of a calm spirit, as my older sister, that even when he lets his temper get away with him there really isn't ever a bite to his words. I genuinely believe that he doesn't have a mean bone in his body, just like his dad. I can't wait to see how he turns out as an adult.

My youngest brother is a wild child. Every family has one. He has such an enthusiasm and energy for life that I can't help but see him as the rock climbing, hard working, flirtatious kind of person in the future.... he's kind of that already. He's the kind of kid to be friends with everybody. He's made friends with all my friends, and with all our other sibling's friends. You can't help but to like this kid, even when he's throwing temper tantrums and being a brat. I can see him as the ever smiling popular kid in school, who everyone likes just because he's so happy that it's contagious. While I don't think he lacks for friends, he also goes out of his way to be helpful and to serve other people. One or twice I've asked him why he did it, and the answer is usually along the lines of "because they needed it, duh." He's such a sarcastic, humorous kid, and he laughs all the time. He only appears to have two modes, happy and not happy. When he's not happy sometimes I want to throttle him, but honestly I think it's because he is such a joy when he is happy that I never think he has reason to be unhappy. He is the kind of kid to make you see the good in life and to make you forget there was ever anything bad.

And there you have it. Why I love my family. Each of my siblings has such a unique spirit and their own talents and abilities to contribute that they're all quite irreplaceable. And my parents are the kindest, most loving parents and they spoil all of us rotten. I am so grateful for the people that God puts in my life and for all that I've learned from them. I will love them all forever.

Why Life IS Fair

Saying "life isn't fair" is sort of like a nicer way to say "man up, you big baby". Which is probably why everyone hates hearing it; no one likes to be told that they're being a sissy. But as I got older, I thought a lot about why people say that. I have come to a few conclusions.

My first conclusion is that when someone tells you that "life isn't fair", they have recently learned this lesson for themselves. My second conclusion is that people want to communicate that life just gets harder as you get older and as you go along. My third conclusion for why people tell you that "life isn't fair" is that they simply don't want to hear it and they want you to stop talking. For whatever reason.

However, I disagree with the saying that "life isn't fair". I say it's false. I say that life IS fair. I have often pondered this long and hard.

My reasoning behind this is that everyone is different. Nobody is the same, so why should they think that they deserve the same things? Each person is a unique individual, designed by a loving Father in Heaven to be who they are. Each person is also given their talents, gifts, blessings, and trials by this same Heavenly Father to make them a better person.

The phrase "life isn't fair" can be applied in two different ways. The first way is when someone has something that you want, but you don't have. But life is fair. What about everything that you do have? Food, family, a home... does anything else matter all that much? God has given you everything that you need, so life is indeed fair.

The second way is when "bad things happen to good people". People argue that God is unfair and unjust because of this reason. I argue that life is fair in this case as well. God gives us our trials to make us better people, so how can a good person become a great person without trials? It's the same principle behind how great pressure turns coal into diamonds. Coal isn't bad. Coal didn't do anything to deserve all the pressure put on it. Coal was perfectly useful and fine the way it was. But God sees the potential in the coal to be something that is so much greater.

I often find that simply by being grateful for what I have and by being patient, I can see life in a much more positive light. It's surprising how much simply changing your thinking can change your life.